Alts Anonymous..

"Hi my name is (insert name here) and I'm an alt-a-holic...
I've been involved in multiple relationship's and the vast majority of them were a huge failure on my part because I have psycho-schematic tendencies and honestly don't believe in being faithful to one person.
On the other hand, places that I know I'm not welcomed in and am very adamant about never returning to, I find myself compelled to venture to, just to realize that the people could care less weather I'm there or not. But I stick around in the hopes that some cataclysmic tragedy will occur and I can revel in other peoples misery since I am relatively bored with my own.
At first I thought I was alone in this pity party, but I soon came to find out that I can have someone just like me! Who can stoop to my level and has the same addictions as I do. Me and (insert name here) are like two peas in a pod..or is that 4-20 alts in a pod? *shrugs*
And the best thing about this, is that if I'm ever caught, not only can I blame it on some bi-polar disorder or pretend to attempt suicide or claim to be this single parent searching the internet to find a father for my bastard children..not only do I have that as a cover...but I can just search deep within myself, neglect to take my meds for awhile and bam! Instant alt all over again!
Now if I can just get rid of (insert name of person that you've stalked) everything will be grand.
Hi My name is (insert name here)...and I'm an alt-a-holic.

*punches (insert name here) in the fuckin throat*